Gang Stalking – Don’t trust the cashier.

They did it again. I have only myself to blame. I should know better than to trust any cashier.  Every time I go to  the supermarket the cashiers always do something to me. They’ll add an item I didn’t buy, leave out food, put holes in my bags, etc. Yesterday, I bought some pork chops. The pork chops cost $7.00+. I usually double-check to make sure everything is in my bag, but I was very tired and it had been a very hot day. All I wanted to do was  get home and put on the air conditioner. So I didn’t double-check the items. I got home put my things away and looked for the pork chops to cook. No pork chops. This is no tragedy, but it’s very annoying. I thought of going back to the store, but the heat just convinced me to stay put. So I didn’t get my pork chops and I was out $7.00+.

It gets very expensive to always be buying things over and over.  Not only that, it’s annoying to go to the store and always have to double-check everything I buy, because if I don’t, something will not be in my bag when I get home. I’m going back to the store today and see if I can get my pork chops. I have a feeling that they’ll say that nothing was left by me or anyone else. That’s always what they tell me. I must have taken it home, or its in my bag. I don’t think that I can ignore smelly pork chops in my bag.

I know this is no earth-shaking thing to happen to someone, but it’s the pettiness of the cashiers that get to me. How can anyone be so petty?  Would they like something like this to happen to them? Would they be annoyed to be going back to the store day after day to get something  purposely left out by a cashier? I don’t think they would. It’s too bad I can’t do the same thing back to them, because if I could , I would. So if they tell me nothing was left, I’ll be out $7.00+. I know that’s not a lot of money, but after a while, all the money I’ve spent on items I didn’t get add up to a lot of money.

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Gang Stalking – I’m so tired of the same old crap.

100 Years old (Photo credit: shinealight)

Several of the City’s [Butte’s] Modern Apartment Houses (1915) (Photo credit: Butte-Silver Bow Public Library)

Boy, am I tired! I just spent three hours walking around trying to find a new apartment.  Honestly, I sometimes feel hopeless. Why am I even looking for a new apartment when I know the same s–t is going to happen to me again.  But the thing is, that after a while, the people I look at every day when  I come out of my apartment make me want to vomit all over them, and do other things, which I can’t say here.  It is the only way for me to stay sane, not  to look at these disgusting  people who consider themselves human beings.

Everywhere I went, I saw perps all over the place.  As soon as I entered a complex,  they would come making believe they just happen to be passing by.  Of course, wearing the bright greens, oranges, yellows, reds they all wear.  It didn’t matter where I went, up they popped, like popcorn.

I am so, so tired of all this crap!  Every day it’s the same torture,  following me  where I go, making fun of the way I walk, talk, sneeze, cough, etc.  It’s getting very old this harassment.  I wish someone would speak out about what’s happening to us. I wish there was something I could do to end the harassment.  I’m just so tired of the same old crap every day. My body is beginning to feel the effects of the electricity hitting me all the time. I feel about 100 years old.

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Gang Stalking – Is this life worth living?

See Image:Gold doorknob.jpg (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If I sounded a little paranoid last night, I have reason to be.  All the lights in my complex were turned off. All week-long, I’ve had trouble with my water. I’ve had rocks thrown at my door.  People knock at my door, and when I open the door, there’s no one there.  Wouldn’t you be paranoid?

Anyway, last night, as I wrote was, was dark.   I had lights in my apartment, but all the lights outside the apartment were dark.  In the dark anyone can do anything.  And I wouldn’t put anything beyond the perps.

I awoke today to dribs and drabs of cold water.  No hot water again.  And the cold water lasted only about 2 hours and then it went off.  No hot and cold water again.  The perps  keep playing their baby games.  They think everything they do is just so funny.

The hot and cold came on about an hour ago.  I wonder how long  it’ll last this time.

I’m truly getting sick and tired of all the b.s.  Why can’t these freaks just leave me alone?  If they want to be freaks, why don’t they join the circus?

Last night,  just as I was about to fall asleep, I heard someone turn the door knob.  I quickly got up from my bed and put a bunch of stuff near the door to keep someone from breaking in. I put my chair, books, bottles full of water, anything that would make noise if it fell.  I didn’t sleep all night.  I couldn’t relax.  I was too stressed.  My body wouldn’t let me sleep.

Something’s got to give. I can’t keep living this way.  It’s hell every single day.  If I had someone living with me, I’d have someone to fall back on, but being on my own, there’s no one I can turn to.  So far, I’ve managed to stay sane, but we all  have our breaking  point.  I really  don’t know how long I can put up with all the b.s.  It’s really getting to me.

How much punishment can a body take?   I’m just physically and emotionally tired.  I’m tired of getting my body zapped, never being left alone, followed everywhere.  Not a moment to just think and dream;  always being on guard?  This kind of tension is not good for any body.  I’ve managed to stay healthy in spite of everything done to me.  How long will it be before my body begins to rebel?

I keep asking myself: is this life worth living?  So far the answer has always been yes, but maybe I’ll reach a point where it’ll be no.  Because, really, I want some joy in my life. And there’s no joy in my life.

How can people be so evil?

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Gang Stalking – Sometimes I wish I’d go to bed and just die.

Starbucks protest, Verdun, Beirut (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Summer’s coming, so the gang stalkers are back to their game of leaving dog  poop in the front of my apartment.  They want the front of my apartment to attract flies, ants, roaches, etc.  I went out this morning and the first thing I see, dog poop in the front of my apartment.  Honestly, I don’t know if  it’s dog poop, it looks more human than animal.  It’s very small and isn’t as dark as regular dog poop.  I know you’re probably reading this and getting disgusted.  I’m disgusted just writing it.  But my blog is like a diary I keep, so I have to write about what happens to me.  I never catch who’s doing it.  They make sure I’m not around, or are not leaving my apartment before they leave it.  Some day I’ll catch them.  I think the b—h upstairs put  it in front of my apartment.  When I stepped out to throw away my garbage she was near my apartment and acted very suspicious.  I wondered what she was up to.  So I’m pretty sure she did it, but since I didn’t see it, I can’t be 100% sure.

The woman upstairs has been in jail.  She once threatened to break my neck. I wrote about this when it happened. What gets me is that they have criminals going after good people.  I would bet that 65% of the people who harass us are felons.  I think they’re offered time off if they become gang stalkers.  Being criminals, they don’t have to get training to do awful things to targets. They already know how to be scumbags.  I know the ones that follow me around seem to be criminals.  I also noticed that a lot of security guards and military men are gang stalkers. The military men do it because they’ve been told we targets are Americans who can’t be trusted.  And they fall right in line with the lies and believe whatever the government tells them.   Paradox, isn’t it? The military men  fight for Americans’ freedom and come home and join in taking away someone’s freedom. And the security guards are usually people who want to feel important.  The  security guards feel important beating someone down.

When, oh, when is this crap going to end?  The whole week I’ve felt really tired.  I have absolutely no energy. I sometimes wonder why we targets stick around?  What is the purpose of living this life?  It’s a life that’s not at all a joy to live. We can’t love anyone; we have no family; no friends; everywhere we go, people abuse us.  We’re blamed for everything that happens. We’re  called liars, thieves.  Sometimes I wish that I’d go bed and just die.

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Gang Stalking – Sick and tired of all the crap.

My eye (Photo credit: neuroticcamel)

Needles used for hand sewing (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In the last week, my  eyes have been very itchy.  I had to rub them to get relief.  Today, I woke up with the area around my eyes puffed up, and  red.  My eyes are so puffy, they look like slits.  I know this is from all the pesticide sprayed down into my apartment.  Last week, my lips were swollen, now it’s my eyes.  As a matter of fact, my whole face looks like I have mumps or some disease.  I really look awful.  Good thing I have a pair of very dark sunglasses, otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to leave my apartment.   I’m sure people would run from me.  I know I would stay away from someone whose face looked like mine.  I wonder what’s next?  My whole body?

Sometimes I just feel so tired.  Every time I think I might get a break something happens – they break my computer; food I think I have is gone; clothes I’m going to wear torn; go to put on my shoes and the heel is gone; charger to my phone, gone;  my face lotion gone; toothpaste squeezed empty; my sugar is wet; bread broken into pieces; non-stop pesticide and insecticide sprayed on me; my sewing needles gone, etc. And on and on it goes every single day.  The savages never stop their crap.  I know they’re told to do damage to whatever we have, and believe me, they enjoy what they’re doing.  There is nothing safe in my apartment; no matter how unimportant it is. They love  to destroy whatever is in their sight.  They’re like locust.  After they come through my apartment,  it looks like a locust field.  A big, messy area.  And everything destroyed.

I’m always fixing something, or have to buy something.  There’s never any relief from the lowlifes.  They’re like little children who have no control over themselves.  I don’t think when they were growing up their parents taught them the difference between right and wrong.  They have no trigger which tells them they’re doing wrong.  It’s just go forth and do evil. And be good at it because you have no other talent.

In the meantime, we targets have to put up with the psychopaths.  And endure day after day of misery,  and the smell of pesticide. And a few hours of sleep; if we’re lucky.

I’m sick and tired of all the crap.  I wish I could find an answer as to what to do.

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Gang Stalking – I just want this hell to end.

Image via Wikipedia

Image by Leonard John Matthews via Flickr

Lately, I’ve thought that I have to do something about what is happening to me.  But what, I don’t know?  There seems to be no way out of this hell I’m experiencing.  This gang stalking has been with me now  going on four years.  And no matter which way I turn, there seems to be no answer.  There are a  few things I could do to end this, but it’s a coward’s way out.  I’ve never  been a coward, and I don’t intend to start being one.  I just wish I could find some help.  Some journalist who is willing to tell the stories of people who are suffering the same fate I am.

After four years of gang stalking, I’m tired.  I can barely get out of bed in the morning, but I force myself to get up, take a shower and get dressed. I have no bed, so I’ve been sleeping on the floor.  And sleeping on the has taken a toll on my body.  My body has scars from all the pesticide that’s sprayed on me.  My nails look dirty.  The pesticide gets inside my nails.   My nails don’t grow anymore.  My hair has become dry and brittle.  When I look at things, my eyes see double images.  The bottom of my feet have lots of scars from the pesticide.  I really don’t know how long I can continue with this horrible life I’m living.

The pesticide is bad enough, but I have to put with so much abuse from other people.  There’s not a moment I’m left alone.  There’s always someone trying to make my life miserable.  I don’t understand how people can be so evil.  No one can tell me that people are good, because I know they’re not.  If people were basically good, I wouldn’t be going through the hell I have to face every day.

I guess you can tell I’m not having a good day today.  Most times I’m okay, but there are days, I just want to die. I just want this hell to end.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to do anything.  I just had to let this out.  There’s no one I can talk with.  It’s a release when things build up inside of me too much.

(You see the photo with the backpack, this is the way the gang stalkers walk around.  They have backpacks on their backs and have a sprayer attached inside. This sprayer is large, but the ones the gang stalkers use are very small and cannot be seen by most people. And their backpacks are also smaller. )

P.S. They’ve erased my blog about five times already.  I don’t forget what I type, so I just retype. And I feel better already letting you know what’s going on.

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