Tag Archive | tears

Gang Stalking – Let the tears come.

Tylenol

Tylenol (Photo credit: raspberries1)

Breakfast

Breakfast (Photo credit: brixton)

cry

cry (Photo credit: the|G|™)

This morning I woke up feeling feverish and chilly, and felt a lot of stomach pain. And totally exhausted.  I did not feel like getting out of bed, but I forced myself to get up and have breakfast.

After breakfast, I took a Tylenol and walked around trying to feel better.  But I didn’t.  I still felt awful, and decided there’s no way I’m going out today.  So I made my way back to bed.  It was really good to be under my cover.  The warmth made me feel a lot better.  I laid my head down, and the tears came.  I didn’t cry, the tears just came down.  And I let  them come.

I thought of my mother and about how much I miss her.  And I thought how many times did she cry silently, and  I wasn’t aware of  it.  I’m sure my mother cried a lot of silent tears, but I never saw them.

I know why the tears came.  I’ve forced myself to keep going no matter what.  To write my blog, and be.  No time for tears.

With all the stress I’ve been experiencing lately, I didn’t  let my guard down.  It’s go, go and do what has to get done.  There are people all over the world who have worse lives than I do.  At least I have a place to sleep, eat, keep warm, so I shouldn’t feel sorry for my self. I should be grateful for what I have.

But the constant harassment never lets up.  It’s electricity hitting me all the time, being followed every minute, cars honking, people constantly laughing at me with their smirky laughs, at night someone unlocking my door, hacking into my computer, my phone, filling my apartment with terrible smells, clothes disappearing from my closet, people aping everything I do, etc.  It gets very tiring.  I never get a minute to just relax and think.

To just sit and think is a luxury for us targets.  It is a luxury we’re not allowed.

Every minute, it’s make them miserable, drive them crazy, make them want to end their lives, do something that will make them commit a crime so they end up in jail, or in some mental hospital.

There is no time for crying, or we won’t survive.

But our bodies know us better than we know ourselves, and they come to our rescue.  They make us cry and let out all the nasty stuff building up inside of us.  If we don’t let out the tears, we would explode.

So I’m grateful for the tears.

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Gang Stalking- Off Topic – PostaDay 2011 – What was the best book or movie of the year?

A man and a woman performing a modern dance.

English: Little Ben and Victoria Palace Theatr...

Image via Wikipedia

Billy Elliot

Image via Wikipedia

Cover of "Billy Elliot"

Cover of Billy Elliot

English: Picture of Cesar Corrales from the Bo...

Image via Wikipedia

Billy Elliot the Musical

Image via Wikipedia

Think of all the books you read, or movies you saw, and write a review of your favorite (or favorites).

Recently someone recommended to me that I see “Billy Elliot“.  The person who recommended this movie usually recommends movies that are very good.  So I decided to get “Billy Elliot”.

I put the movie on, and Lord and behold, it’s a British movie.  No insult to the English, but every time I’ve seen an English movie, I almost fall asleep.  They usually speak very slowly, and pronunciation is perfect.  And I thought to myself, oh, God, why an English movie?

For the first ten minutes, I thought  that this was a movie I probably would not finish.  But as time went on, I was on the edge of my seat looking forward to what was going to happen next.

The movie takes place in England in the year 1984-1985.  It is about an English boy, Billy, who’s taken by his father to a boxing gym to be taught how to  become a fighter.  Billy has no interest in learning to fight, but he goes to the  gym to please his father.  One day when he enters the gym, there is a ballet class going on next to the gym.  Billy watches the dancers and becomes intrigued with ballet dancing.  So instead of going to the gym, he spends all his time watching the dancers.  He spends so much watching the dancers, he’s asked if he would like to join the group. He  decides he wants to learn  to dance.  He does not tell his father about the dancing lessons.   He tells his father he’s still going to the gym.

This is where the story gets interesting.  He has to hide the fact that he’s dancing from his father, because he knows his father and brother would not be happy with his dancing.

While Billy’s  off dancing, his father and brother are on strike.  They’re both miners, and the mine in which they work is going out of business.

But I won’t go into more detail, but it’s a movie you should definitely see.  I highly recommend it. I went from not wanting to see it to  recommending it; that’s how good it is.  If you’re a woman, you’ll definitely need some tissues to wipe away the tears. And if you’re a man, the son/father relationship will make you think about what’s important in life.  Run to get the video.

Countdown: 72 blogs to write.

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P.S. WordPress.com, thank you. You have my heart.

Gang Stalking – PostaDay 2011 – What holiday traditions does your family celebrate?

I’ve been away from my family for a few years now.  I haven’t had contact with them because of what’s been happening in my life.  They don’t believe anything I’ve told them about the gang stalking that’s happening to me.  They basically think I’ve lost it.  And I’m not going to stay around people who doubt what I say.

But, anyway, I have fond memories of the holidays.  The whole family would get together for Christmas. It wasn’t always the same place. It would depend  on who decided to foot the bill for the food that year.  All of us would, of course, bring something to the gathering.  There would be kids running all over the place, having the times of their life.  And everyone was just happy to be around family.  All of us would have a decorated Christmas tree with lights and lots of decorations.  Christmas carols would fill our homes.  And we would usually attend midnight mass on Christmas eve.  There would be a lot of laughing and talking about past Christmases, and we would discuss silly things someone did.  We didn’t dwell on things that were depressing.  There was just a wonderful feeling all around during Christmastime.  They’re days that I miss.  It tears me up to think about those days.

Countdown:  77 blogs to write.

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