“I Am Tired” – NARA – 558861 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Redesigned logo used from 2011-present. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Sometimes I feel so tired. I get tired of feeling tired. I want a day I can just relax, and not have to worry about the horrible day that’s ahead of me. I want to go to Starbucks, have a latte and truly enjoy it. I want to go to a movie, and see a comedy and laugh. I want to take a walk, and not have to watch my back. I want to make love to someone without worrying about someone watching me on a camera. I just want to be. Will I ever have a day to myself again? Or is it something that’s never going to happen? Am I going to spend the rest of my life living in this unwanted hell not of my making? I wish I had a magic crystal ball that would tell me of the future that’s ahead of me. Is it a future I can look forward to? Or a future that will make me regret I was ever born?
The Meeting Place A 30-foot bronze sculpture called The Meeting Place by Paul Day featuring two reunited lovers embracing in the newly-refurbished St Pancras station in London. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
People Watching at Sculptures (Photo credit: Alegrya)
A sight of Marquee Mall's entertainment area taken from a balcony in the third floor. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
The second location of Starbucks in Seattle was opened in 1977. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Sometimes I just stand somewhere and watch people. I watch them as they take a walk; as they get on and off the bus; as they sit on a park bench enjoying a sunny day; as they drink coffee at Starbucks; as lovers embrace; as children laugh; as the lonely people watch others; as men watch women; as people watch other people. And I think to myself, do they ever think about how beautiful an ordinary day is? All these things people do on a regular basis, and I bet not one of them thinks how lucky they are to be doing these ordinary things. I’m sure they don’t. They take ordinary days for granted, just as I used to.
But I no longer take ordinary days for granted. Now I’m on the outside looking in. I’m no longer one of them. I can no longer enjoy an ordinary day. My life is not ordinary; I wish it were.
What I wouldn’t give to just have an ordinary day. To not have someone follow me everywhere I go. To not always be watching my back. To not be shot with chemicals. To not be thought a thief. To not be called names. To not be treated like trash. To be able to trust someone. To have someone talk to me as if I mattered. To be able to sleep 8 hours a day. To enjoy a meal at a restaurant without a bunch of freaks staring me down and making fun. To enjoy a really good laugh with a friend. To have a friend I could trust. To just enjoy being.
People take their freedom for granted. They should live my life for a day, I’m sure freedom would have a different meaning. It wouldn’t just be a word they hear all the time. They would truly know what the word freedom means. And after learning what the word freedom means, I’m sure they wouldn’t be doing to others what they’re doing. They would cherish the word and what it means.