How do I know when I’m wrong? It’s very simple. I get a sick feeling in my heart, and my face feels hot, and I get nervous. I get very upset and chastise myself for what I did. And I continually ask myself, “How can I do what I did?”
Usually, when I’m wrong, it’s because I’ve done something mean to someone to get even. Especially with the gang stalkers, I’m always trying to give them as hard a time as they give me. I’ll accidentally do something, purposely doing it and acting as if I were not aware of doing it. And the gang stalkers usually react, but I ignore them and make-believe I didn’t hear them.
So I feel bad when I get even. Even though the gang stalkers deserve everything I do to them, it’s really not right for me to retaliate the way I do. I’ve tried to stop myself, but every time I promise myself it’s the last time I’ll do something to retaliate, the gang stalkers seem to go out of their way to do something really mean. And I’m back to doing what I promised myself I wouldn’t do. And I know what I do is wrong.
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