Still apartment hunting. It’s so hard to find a place that’s safe. In a normal world, I wouldn’t have a problem finding an apartment, but the world I live in is a totally different thing.
At the bus stop yesterday, I thought I was going to get beaten up. As I’ve said, I have a problem keeping my mouth especially when I’ m being abused. Anyway, have you ever watched an ant hunt for food? First, the scout(or whatever he’s called) finds some food. Then another ant follows. And slowly, but surely, there are so many ants surrounding whatever the first ant found that it’s impossible, if it’s a creature, to get away. That’s the way I felt yesterday. First, there were a few perps and slowly came the other perps. I felt like the creäture the ants find and kill. First, one perp said something to me and I ignored him. And then the others ganged up on me. There was one man, who stood by me and kept repeating the word “crazy ” in his conversation.I knew he was referring to me. I didn’t say anything. I kept my mouth shut, but then a woman began calling me crazy. I took a look at her husband and made a remark about how big his stomach is. She began to scream at me and told me she was going to beat me up. I responded that if anyone needed help it was her husband. I told her that someone with a stomach that big obviously had problems and he probably needed more help than I did. She looked at me like a bull ready to charge and began to scream. Of course, I just let her scream. And everybody surrounding her agreed with everything she said. Of course, they did. All perps. The bus came and she got on and warned the bus driver about me. I decided it was best for me not to get on the bus with all the perps on it. I love how the perps can insult us non-stop, but dare to criticize one of them, oh, no. never! These people have very thin skins. One little insult and they go crazy. Can you imagine if they had to deal with what we have to deal with every minute of the day? They wouldn’t last one day!
And then I went over to a burger place to get a hamburger, which I often don’t do. I would cook the burger at home, but, somehow, it just doesn’t have the same taste. This hamburger place always does the same thing to me, so I’ve found a way to work it my advantage. Every time I order the burger, the cashier asks me if I would like cheese? When I began going there, I would say yes. And each time, I would get no cheese. If I said no cheese, I’d get cheese. So now when she asks me if I want cheese, I say no. And guess what, I get free cheese. So I don’t pay for cheese I really want. Yesterday, I decided to thank her for the free cheese. And as I was walking out, I made the remark, “It always works.” You’re probably wondering why I’m letting you know this. Why mess with a good deal? Well, I decided eating all that cheese is not good for me, so I no longer need to keep the secret to myself. Maybe this happens to you. If it does, maybe you can do what I do, and you’ll get free cheese each time.
This also applies to when I walk. When the perps began showing up everywhere I walked, I considered it an annoyance. I’ve began to think about it differently. I decided to think of my walk as an obstacle course. Each time a perp gets in my way, I have to figure a way of getting around them. This makes my walk a lot more interesting. Instead of just walking a straight path, I now have hurdles I have to get over. My walks have become a lot more fun now. I kind of look forward to having them get in my way and trying to figure a way to get away from them.
So I’m beginning to see my targeting in a different way. A way to make myself stronger. I don’t get stressed during my walks, and I feel better. And I’m going to try doing this with every perp situation.
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