Where did you meet? When did you become friends? Why do you think you friendship has lasted so longer?
I don’t have an oldest friend. I’ve moved around so much that friendships only last as long as I’m in the same place as the person. Once I move, friendships don’t last. The friendships don’t last because I haven’t stayed long enough to develop a good relationship.
The one person that I’ve always considered my oldest friend has been my older sister. My older sister has been a friend to me wherever I’ve gone. But my sister died a few years ago, and I don’t have her as a friend anymore.
And today, I can’t have any friends. I can’t trust anyone who I meet because of the gang stalking. Usually when someone tries to befriend me, it’s because he’s a gang stalker.
So I can’t write about an old friend. I don’t have one.
When is it a good time to quit? There’s a common sentiment that you should always tough things out and that it’s weak to quit. When is this not true? How do you know you should quit something?
It’s time to quit something when you feel sucked of energy. The thing that you’re doing takes all your energy, and it makes you tired. The thought of doing whatever it is you’re doing just makes you not want to wake up to face the day. It could be a bad relationship, which is no longer full of love, or fun. You just want to run away from the relationship. Then it’s time to quit the relationship. Or you have a job that you hate. Your boss is domineering and wears you out. The thought of going to work with the boss makes you sick. Perhaps the place you live is a place that doesn’t feel like home. As a matter of fact, you don’t even want to return home. You’d rather be somewhere else. Then it’s time to look for a new place to live. It’s time to quit the place. Or maybe a friendship you have no longer works for you no matter how you try to keep up the friendship. It’s time to quit the relationship.
It is time to quit something when it no longer feels good, or is causing you to feel bad about yourself. You should do something because you enjoy it, not because you have to endure it.
How do you balance the conflicting forces for how to be?
I’ve always been ruled by my head. I don’t think I’ve ever been in love without my head interfering. I know there are people who when they’re in love give no thought to what’s in their head. They follow their heart completely. Which in some ways is good. But I never let my heart rule my head. I become analytical when thinking about love. I start to think about what sort of person he is. Can I trust him not to break my heart? If the relationship becomes serious, where will it lead? Of course, I go back and forth between heart and head, but eventually I know, my head will win the battle. Sometimes I wish, I didn’t have such a strong head. I want to go with my heart and let it be broken if it is to be. But no, I’m too practical and won’t let it happen. But who knows, I have a lot of years ahead of me and maybe some day my heart will win. It’s strange, though, when I was younger, my heart always ruled, or I thought it did. I don’t know what caused me to change. No, I take that back. My head has always won.