Tag Archive | miss

Gang Stalking – They will not beat me down.

"I Am Tired" - NARA - 558861

“I Am Tired” – NARA – 558861 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

English: A sign warning about pesticide exposure.

English: A sign warning about pesticide exposure. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’m able to get on my computer today.   I don’t know how long I’ll last.  So if I disappear, they’ve gotten into my computer again and messed it up.

Today, the weather in Vegas is gray, dark, rainy and miserable.  Just like I feel.

The hackers won’t leave my computer alone.  The anti-virus I got is practically useless.  No matter what anti-virus I get, they get into it and put malware in it.  I really don’t know why there is even  anti-virus, none of them  works.

Not only are the perps not leaving my computer alone, they’re making my life even more miserable than usual.  When I used to live in my last apartment, I got sprayed with brown pesticide all the time.  All my clothes had stains on them.  I had to throw my clothes away because they were so badly stained.  And then I wrote about the pesticide and it stopped for a while.  But they’re going after me with the pesticide again.  They spray it into my apartment all day and at night when I try to sleep.  Not only are they hitting me with electricity,  spaying me with pesticide, heating up my bedroom like a sauna, waking me every two hours, smelling up my apartment with some kind of gas and just generally making my life unliveable, they’re trying to screw with my money. They now have a file on my debit card.  I happened to see it as I watched the anti-virus try to clean up the garbage they put into my computer. Why do the creeps need a file on my debit card?  Only one reason, so they can cause havoc in my account. I don’t have enough to worry about, now I have to worry that they’re going to take my money out of my account.  I’m worried that  one day I’ll go the bank and won’t find any money in it.  And believe me, that’s a real possibility.  It the sort of thing they do to other targets.

I must tell you, I’m just so tired.  The bastards just never leave me alone.  It’s harass her, harass her, harass her.  Don’t give her a minute of peace and quiet.  Just keep dogging her until she can’t stand it and breaks down.

But as tired as I am, they will not win, because I won’t let them win.  If I have to cry, I’ll cry, but it’ll be in such a way that they can’t hear me cry.  I won’t give them the satisfaction of hearing me cry.  Or see me cry.  Never!  They’ll make fun of me if they hear me cry, and I won’t give them the satisfaction.  I’ll show no weakness.  I’ll keep holding my head high.  That’s the way my mother taught me to do it.  She always held her head high no matter how hard things got for her.

And some day, they’ll get what’s coming to them.  That’s also what my mother told me.

God, I miss my mother!!!

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Gang Stalking – A pigeon is stalking me.



Columbidae (Photo credit: Iñaki Mateos)

Feral pigeon (Columba livia).

Feral pigeon (Columba livia). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today, I’m not going to write about gang stalking, but I will write about stalking. We  targets all need time off from thinking about gang stalking.

I’m being stalked by a pigeon.  I know that sounds funny, but it’s true.  Let me tell you how it began.

Whenever I go grocery shopping,  I’ll take a break and have something to eat while sitting outside, and enjoy the fresh air.  Most of the times what I eat is a sandwich, and a  lot of times, I don’t finish the sandwich and throw it out.  I began to think that this is a waste of food while there are millions  of people  all over the world starving.

When I sit down, there are always a lot of pigeons around.  So I began feeding the pigeons whatever I had left of my sandwich. Sometimes I didn’t eat a sandwich, and the birds waited for me to throw them something.  I felt bad not throwing them something to eat, so I began buying seeds for the birds to eat.

As soon as the birds saw me coming, they came flying from everywhere.  One day I noticed that one of the pigeons had plastic on its claws.  I tried to get close to the pigeon to remove the plastic, but the pigeon would not let me near him. And for weeks, I saw the poor pigeon with plastic on its claws.

One day, the pigeon showed up with no claws.  His claws had been removed.  It looks like what our feet would look like if we had our toes removed.  I  really felt bad I couldn’t help the pigeon.

Anyway, every time I threw food, the de-clawed pigeon had trouble getting some of the seeds I threw.  I began to throw food toward him to make it easier for him to get some.  After a while, he began to edge closer to me because he knew I was trying to help him.

One day, I was sitting on a rock, while waiting for the bus and doing my crossword puzzle,  I noticed a pigeon walking around me. I didn’t pay any attention. And the pigeon kept getting closer  and shyly edged toward me.  I looked up and it was the pigeon I’d tried to help.  He shyly sat next to me, and cooed.  When the bus came, I ran to get the bus, and didn’t think twice about the pigeon.

I came  out of  my apartment one day, and guess who was sitting on the railing in front of my door?  The pigeon. Ever since then, every time I step out of my apartment, the pigeon is waiting for me.

I don’t know how the pigeon knows where I live.  Sometimes I come out of my apartment and stand by my railing, and I’ll see the pigeon on the roof watching me.  I can be three to four miles from where I live and the pigeon will show up.  So he’s stalking me.  So even the birds are stalking me.

But it’s kind of comforting to know someone is watching out for me, even if it’s a pigeon.

I used to think of pigeons as flying rats.  I no longer think that. Pigeons are very intelligent creatures.  How did the pigeon find me? He must have followed me home.    And now he follows me everywhere.  Sometimes when I don’t see the pigeon, I wonder if something’s happened to him.   I know some day, he’s not going to show up;  something will probably happen to him.  And when that day comes, I’ll miss the pigeon.

Life is strange, isn’t it?  Who thought a pigeon could get attached to a human, and a human to a pigeon?

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Gang Stalking – Off Topic – PostaDay 2011 – Who is the most patient person you know.

The most patient person  I know, it’s certainly not me. I can’t think of too many people who  I think  fill that criteria.

The only one I can think of is my mother. My mother is no longer alive, but she was the most patient person I’ve ever known.

My mother was not a woman to lose her temper. In all the years, I knew her, I can think of very few times when she was not patient,  or angry.

I used to get angry when I was younger and saw someone be rude to her and keep her waiting. I used to think to myself why doesn’t she say something. But she never did. It used to annoy me to see someone keep my mother waiting for no reason. I wanted to shout at them and tell them to serve my mother, but I knew not to say  anything.  She was patient to a fault. And no matter what someone did, she was always polite and full of patience. I sometimes considered my mother a saint, and today more than ever.  And she always said “thank you” to someone who did not treat her right.

Now that my mother is gone, when I  don’t feel patient, I think of her and a calmness comes over  me.  I think about what she would do, and do it.  I realize she was right not to get upset.  Getting upset does  not  serve me well.  I  stay calm and do  not start screaming and yelling at someone for causing me  to be inconvenienced.  It only gives them power over me.  My mother knew that, but I didn’t.  Mothers are always right.  Love  and miss you, mom.

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