Tag Archive | holidays

Gang Stalking – No more holidays for me.

US Navy 060529-N-6501M-044 A member of the Phi...

US Navy 060529-N-6501M-044 A member of the Philippine Army checks vital signs of a local Filipino woman as she participates in a Medical Civil Action Program (MEDCAP) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

English: Vector image of the Las Vegas sign. P...

English: Vector image of the Las Vegas sign. Português: Imagems vectorial da placa de Las Vegas. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Motel Life

The Motel Life (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

During a holiday, I always looked back to the past.  To the past when when I was living a normal life and celebrated every holiday. Now, every holiday, I no longer think of those past holidays.  What I think about, is the things that occur in my every day life.

I think of the time I spent the night on a park bench. I’d left my sister’s house because living with her was hell.  So I moved to a motel. The motel was a horrible place and I left it.  I went to another motel, but while checking in, I realized it was going to be no better than the one I left.  I went to a few motels, but they were also awful.  After all the walking, I saw a bus bench and decided I’d just stay on the bench  and find a motel in the morning.  Let me tell you, it was scary.  I had a few men come over  and try  to get me to leave with them.  All night long, I stayed up.  I did not sleep at all. I was afraid someone would come and rape me, or steal all my things.  Finally, daylight arrived and I went in search of a decent place to stay.

And then there was the time, a few days after arriving in Las Vegas, when  walking home,  I saw a group of Asians, and as I got closer, a woman aimed her phone at me to hit me.  The asian man, who was standing next to her , said, “Don’t do that to her.  Those people are harassed 24 hours a day. Leave her alone.”  The asian woman replied, “I don’t care.”  and proceeded to hit me. The man said, “I used to do what you’re doing, but I stopped.  I couldn’t continue treating people that way.”  As I walked by the man, he kept looking at me and  looked deep into my eyes.  I silently thanked him and he nodded his head.  That’s one of the few times in four years, I can remember running into a decent human being.

And then, shortly after arriving in Las Vegas, I waited for the bus under a shopping center shelter.  A man who saw me waiting, said, “Get off my property.”   I replied, “This is not your property and I’m not leaving.”   He continued, “Get off my property.”  He kept telling me to get off his property. And we went back and forth for about three minutes.  Finally, I said to him, “This is not your property. The woman who owns it is Filipino, and you’re not Filipino.”  He was a black man.  He replied, “That’s my mother.”  I replied, “You look like you  have no money.”  When he heard me say this, he got really angry.  He took his left foot and kicked my back.  I bent down to get away from him and he kicked me in the shoulder.  I ran into one of the stores and called the police. A lot of good that did me, since the man ran away, and when the police arrived, they didn’t believe anything I said.

So, instead of thinking good memories of my past life, my memories are of the horrible things I’ve suffered in the last four years.

The holidays don’t exist for me anymore.  The holidays are just another day for me to avoid getting beaten, and to ignore all the people who harass me every day.

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Gang Stalking – Celebrate the holidays.

English: Halloween pumpkin with a witch hat.

English: Traditional Kitchen Witch Doll or Hea...
English: Traditional Kitchen Witch Doll or Hearth Doll for home protection. From Mal Corvus Witchcraft & Folklore artefact private collection owned by Malcolm Lidbury (aka Pink Pasty) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ii3_OgxiVQ (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


For the past  four years, I haven’t celebrated any holiday.  Before gang stalking, I loved the decorations and getting together with my family to celebrate the holidays.

But as I wrote, it’s been four years since I’ve celebrated  anything, even my birthday.

I’m now completely alone.  I have no family, no friends, no one I can trust.  And the few times I tried to befriend someone, it  didn’t turn out too well.  Most of the times, the person turned into a perp, if he hadn’t been one.  So trusting someone is not something I do anymore.  I rarely talk  with someone, or  say much  of anything  to anyone.

So, really, it’s been a very lonely four years.  Celebrating holidays by myself  just makes me feel loner,  makes me think of my family and the friends I used to have.

I  really miss getting together with my family, and so I stopped celebrating anything.

But lately, I feel the need to celebrate something. Celebrate that I’ve survived four lonely years, and I’m still as sane as I was.

I decided from now, even though I’m alone, that I’m going to celebrate holidays.

Today I went shopping for some Halloween decorations.  I bought a crashed witch.  I’m sure you’ve seen it in the store. It shows a witch that has crashed into a wall.

I put the witch decoration on my front door for all to see.

Now, knowing how  the perps destroy everything I buy,  I’m wondering if tomorrow morning, the witch will still be on the door, and how long it will be before they destroy it.

I’m not going to keep opening my door  to see if the witch is still there.  I have a feeling by the time I wake up tomorrow, it will not be on the door, or if it is, it will probably  be in tatters.

What do you think?  Do you think they will destroy it?  Will be it in tatters?  Still be on the door?  Let me know what  you think will happen to it?

Go out and buy a decoration and celebrate the holiday.  Enjoy yourself. Don’t let them take away your joy, as they did to me.

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Gang Stalking – PostaDay 2011 – What do you miss?

More than anything I miss my freedom. The freedom to do what I want without some gang stalker following me around in my apartment, or while I walk around. None of you can know what it’s like to lose your freedom. Once you don’t have it, you really begin to know what freedom is. Before the gang stalking began,  I took freedom for granted. I never gave it a second thought. Now, that’s all I think about. About being free and doing what I want. It would be nice to take a walk, or go to a restaurant, or sit watching television, or go to a movie, or be in a relationship with someone without having some gang stalker watch me 24/7.   Things I no longer take for granted, because now I know what freedom really means.

I also miss celebrating holidays with my family.  I spent almost every holiday with my family, now every holiday I spend alone.

I miss having a good friend.  Now I can’t trust anyone to be my friend.

I miss trusting people.  At one time, I believed what someone told me.  Now, I no longer believe what anyone tells me.  Most of the people who want to befriend me are gang stalkers.  Their only interest in me is to get information so it can be dispersed to other gang stalkers.

I miss all the above things, but freedom is what I miss most.

Today is Veterans Day, 11/11/11.  To all the veterans, thanks for your service to a country that doesn’t deserve it.  You fought so that people like me can be prisoners of the United States government.  Love to every one of you.  I appreciate you all.

Countdown: 102 blogs to write.

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Gang Stalking – Off Topic – PostaDay 2011 – What do you hope your kids will say about you when grown up?

What do you hope your kids will say about you when they’re adults?

(Don’t be a weenie – if you don’t have kids, pretend you did for the purpose of writing this post. Imagination costs nothing.)

I have no kids, so my imagination I must use.  I’ll just use my experience growing up, and what my parents did or did not do.

If I had kids, I would want them to say they lived a life of joy.  That there was tragedy, and bad times, but life no matter how bad contained some passion.  There were always laughs and good times. There was always good food, and lots of love.  Holidays were a time of forgetting about bad things that were happening, and letting everything go for the holidays.  The problems did not go away, but put aside to appreciate every holiday, with laughter, family, good friends, and lots of love from everyone.  I would want  my kids to remember that there were many days of love and pleasure, no matter how bad life became.  I want them to say that because of my love, life, no matter how difficult, can continue with humor and happiness.

Countdown:  121 blogs to write.

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