I’m doing so much good for the world.
I take a walk and everyone begins to walk. I’m keeping people healthy instead of having them sitting around eating chips. And they keep off all that fat they would get.
I feed the pigeons and everyone suddenly feels the need to take care of the pigeons and feed them. It makes the pigeons happy and less annoying. So I’m good for animals and birds.
I get new shoes and everyone gets new shoes, even in the same color. I’m keeping the economy healthy. If I didn’t buy new shoes, the businesses would not be making any money. So I’m good for business.
I get on the bus and everybody suddenly needs to take a ride on the bus. I’m good for the bus company. I get people riding the bus more often, therefore, the bus company is making more money. I’m good for transportation.
I use the computers at the library and everybody shows up when I’m in the library, otherwise, the library would be quiet and have few customers. The library gets money from the government according to how many customers get library cards. To use a computer, everyone has to have a library card. I’m good for the library because it gets more money from the government than if I weren’t around. So I’m good for the library.
I read a book on the bus and everyone starts to read. I’m raising the educational level of people in Las Vegas, which is very low.
I’m just so good at getting people to do things. Things they wouldn’t ordinarily do. They’d be sitting at home watching T.V. So I guess I’m bad for the television industry.
I’m so good!
(P.S. I hope you all know this is sarcasm.)
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