Gang Stalking – Regrets, I have more than a few…

Death (Photo credit: tanakawho)

Live from Las Vegas (Frank Sinatra album) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I was thinking about some of  the bad things that have occurred in my life.

Of course, my mother’s and father’s deaths really hit me hard.  My mother’s death especially, since she died after my father. After my mother died, I felt lost.  I identified so closely with her.   After she died, I had no connection to anyone and a darkness came over me.

And I remember the time I entered an elevator and a man pulled a gun on me.  He called me a bitch and told me to hand over my wallet.  Of course, I did what he said.  A year later, the postoffice returned my wallet to me.  The thief put the wallet into the postoffice box.

And then, there was the time I was crossing the street and a man ran me over with his car.  He tried to beat the man next to him to the light.  He  knocked me down.  I passed out and, when I awakened, I was on the street and I could feel the car tires  rolling over my legs.    I was afraid to move  because I thought something really bad happened to my legs.  But I finally got the courage to move my legs and they were okay.  To this day, my right leg still hurts.

All of the above things are terrible things to happen to someone,  but, nothing, nothing is as terrible as what’s happening to me now.  In two of the above, I was lucky.

But nothing, nothing is bad as the gang stalking, except for the loss of my parents.  If I ever thought in my wildest dream, I’ d have this happen to me, I’d definitely would have chosen a different route in my life.  I think about all the choices I made.  Why didn’t  I go right instead of left?  Why did I ever move to Las Vegas?  Why didn’t I just stay in New York?  Why didn’t I marry the man who asked me to marry him? I could have lived in Europe.  Why did I move where I did?  Why? Why? Why?   My life would be so different.

Since my life has led me to where I am, why?  Why am I here?  Am I here to learn something?  And if I’m to learn something, what it is that I’m supposed to learn?  Is the rest of my life going to be miserable as it’s been?  Am I never to have some joy in my life?  Am I going to be alone for the rest of my life?

I guess I took the road less traveled and I’m paying for it.  I remember seeing a video of Frank Sinatra singing  “regrets, he had a few.”  I wish I could say the same.

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Gang Stalking – Off Topic – PostaDay 2011 – Are you happy or sad that Space Shuttle is finished?

Tomorrow is the last mission for Endeavour. Does it make you happy, sad, or indifferent? Why?

I was just watching the Endeavour on the launch pad. It’s a beautiful shuttle to me. But what do I know? I’m not a scientist. They might think differently.

As I watched the Endeavour, it made me sad we’ll never see it zooming up into space again. This is the last time. But, of course, if everything goes well, we can see it at a museum. So for that I’m happy. Good luck, Endeavour!

I was reading some comments re the Endeavour. People making really nasty remarks about how big a waste the space program is and how much money was wasted and how many lives were lost. The astronauts that died in space exploration did it willingly knowing that they were advancing scientific discovery in space and they willing took the chance. And I’m sure if they had to do it again, they would do it again. There hasn’t been a  time in history where exploration hasn’t led to someone’s death. That’s what happens when discoveries are  made. If we had stopped every program because there was a death, we wouldn’t have gotten too far in our explorations. It’s sad that some astronauts had to die, but from their deaths came knowledge.

So, I’ll say again. I’ll be sad to see the last of Endeavour.

Safe journey to all the astronauts and Endeavour. You are all heroes.

By the way, Endeavour is supposed to be taking off at 8:56 a.m. (E.D.T) tomorrow. I’ll be watching. Will you?

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