I have to lug around a small suitcase with everything I need in it; like my passport, Nevada I.D., bank information, etc. A lot of times I ran into people with it. As I walked by a man at a ticket machine, he stepped on my suitcase. He said to me, looking straight at me, “Oh, I’m sorry, sir .” His girlfriend, who was standing by him, giggled. I said to myself “okay, you want to f–k with me”. So I said, “Oh, it’s all right, ma’am.” His girlfriend began howling. She thought my remark funny. I said, “A good one, huh?” She answered, “Oh, yeah.” and began laughing again. The man did not like my remark. But I got him back. The men like to do that to me, call me a man. I in no way, shape or form look like a man. If I look like a man, I’m a very feminine man. Always playing mind games. The idiots!
And yesterday, when I was leaving the library, a man waiting for the computer, said to the woman sitting next to him, “Do you know who she is?” The woman answered “No.” He said to her “She’s one of those government conspiracy nuts!” He made sure I heard his remark. That’s another one of the games they play with us. Always calling us nuts. The man can call me nuts all he wants, but in the end, I will win. It seems Americans are afraid of being called nuts, crazy, mentally ill. I can understand why. Anytime there’s a killing, the media, or politicians, all come out using words like mentally ill, etc. And they use it non-stop. So people are afraid of the word mentally ill, crazy or nuts. We know what they do to mentally ill people. We put them on trial and abuse them in a mental ward, or put them in prison.
Anyway, today is one of those days, I don’t want to be harassed. Just the thought of coming out today made me sick to my stomach. I want to be left alone without some idiot standing close to me, making constant remarks about my appearance, hitting me with electricity, calling me a man, I’m sick of all the jerks. I know I’ll survive today and all the other days but I wish the jerks would leave me alone! The only way I’ve been able to survive is cursing them under my breath. As I walk away from them., I repeat under my breath, I wish they die, die, die. Just like this very minute. The woman sitting next to me is talking to herself and making “um, um, um” noises. Why the hell can’t she use the computer without all the “uming”?
I don’t want to be thrown out of the library again. I hope I can keep my mouth today. I’m not feeling very loving toward anyone today,. I’m sick of the human race. I wish I could be a bird.
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