haagen-dazs vanilla honeybee ice cream (Photo credit: cafemama)
English: Logo of Target, US-based retail chain (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Today, perps, perps and more perps.
Perps everywhere. I couldn’t get away from them. As I walked, people popped up from behind poles, cars, trees, doorways. They hide behind these things, so I don’t see them coming and cross the street. They want to make sure I don’t miss some fat woman’s ass, or chest so big that it’s falling out of its bra. But I’m very good at catching them, and I always have an out. They think they’ve caught me and can’t get away, but I always screw them. They see me, walk in front of me and I disappear. They think I’m behind them, but I’m on the other side of the street, or climbed some hill. And I never look back to see the surprise on their faces. I’m not interested in seeing their faces, but I know when they turn around they won’t find see me. This always gives me a good laugh. I can just imagine them turning around, looking and wondering where the hell I went. I do this all the time. I’ve become very good at playing the game. If there ever comes a time when I have to fight for my survival, I’m not worried. I’ve become very adapt at escaping. And I’m always testing my physical skills, going up hills, walking on gravel, glass, disappearing; one minute I’m there, the next, not.
As soon as I left my apartment today, the perps came out of the woodwork, wearing, of course, the color of clothes I wear. Perps tripping over themselves to get me to notice them. I paid no attention and disappeared to where there were no perps.
As I walked, a few bikers tried to run me over with their bikes. I did not move. One fell. Good. More of them should fall.
I went over to 7-ll to make a phone call to Nevada Power. As soon as I stood by the phone, perps everywhere. The store became very, very busy, people in their cars were honking horns, big trucks making a lot of noise, people standing by the phone were talking loudly. I couldn’t hear what the person on the line said. I tried calling Nevada Power over and over. I got no signal at all. All I got was a ding sound. Over and over I call, but to no avail. I finally gave up and decided to go over to the library and try to make a call there.
I arrived at the library, went up the steps, and before I got into the library, I saw people following me inside. I went over to the phone (next to women’s and men’s bathroom), dialed the phone and immediately the perps began talking loudly, slamming the women’s and men’s doors non-stop. A group of people stood near me and whooped and hollered (is this a library?) non-stop. I dialed Nevada Power over and over, no response. Some woman kept coming online and telling me the wait to get an operator would be an hour and a half. She sounded as if she didn’t go beyond the first grade of school.
I kept dialing the phone and getting the same woman. A few times I told her to get off the phone. She was obviously not a Nevada Power phone person. A perp, for sure. You see, what they do when I use the phone is this: I make a phone call, the call goes to a recording, or a perp’s phone and my call never gets through to the number I’m calling.
So I tried different numbers to Nevada Power, but the same woman always answered the phone. I finally gave up and left all the noise of the library.
I walked over to Target to get some groceries. Again, perps all over the place, making believe they were shopping. I needed a few things and I knew I’d be out of the store soon. I bought a small cup of Haagen Daez chocolate ice cream. I tripled checked the flavor over and over. I made my way out of the crowd around me and went to pay. I left the store and took my ice cream out to eat. Wrong flavor. Someone switched the ice cream and put vanilla in my bag. I decided to return to the store and return the vanilla.
On my way back to the store, my first bag tore . I looked to see if there were slits in the bottom of the bag, and, of course, there were. I’d been so distracted by all the perps that I forgot to check the bottom of the bags for slits. I got to Target, saw the manager and told him I’d like to replace the ice cream. While talking to the manager, my second bag tore. I took my groceries, put them in my handbag, left the plastic bags on the floor and told the manager that someone put slits on the bottom of my bags and that he should keep the bags. And I walked out of the store.
I’d had it with all the b——s!
As I was walking out the of store, more perps surrounded me. I quickly escaped the b——s.
I had so many perps following me today that my mind just overloaded. I couldn’t tell if I was going or coming.
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