Well, it’s another bad day at the library. Every lowlife showed up today. There isn’t anyone who looks normal. They’re a sick-looking bunch. Sound like they’re all on drugs and homeless. I wouldn’t wish these people on the devil.
Every 3 or 4 months I take stock of my life. How have I been handling the perps, what can I do to improve things in my life? But I always come up that there’s really nothing I can do. Everything is out of my power. Big government is bigger than I am and has most of the power, but there’s something they can’t do, it is control me entirely. They can control me in how I’m harassed, but they can’t stop me from doing what I want to do.
I still go out almost every day, go to the movies, listen to music, spend time walking around, go shopping, every once in a while, I help someone, though now, I rarely help anyone anymore. Most of the people will turn around and practically spit on me. They’ll walk away with an evil smile on their face and let me know that I’ve been had. So helping people is now out of the question. They can help themselves. They all turn out to be perps. Not once has someone who needed help turn out to be a decent human being.
I also ask myself the question: why am I sticking around? Yes, why? It seems I have no future. I haven’t had a future for 5 years now. Going on my 6th in July.
I’ve lost my family. I have no friends. My mother and father are long gone. I can’t find a decent job if my life depended on it. All I can find is dead-end jobs which pay very little money. Everywhere I go I’m treated as if I have a disease. People are nasty all the time. Can’t even think about a romantic relationship. Can’t think of marriage. Can’t think about tomorrow, because thinking about tomorrow only reminds me of another bad day being followed, harassed, etc. I can’t trust anyone. I’ve been beaten up more times than I care to count. Can’t even feel safe in my home with all the break-ins I have into my apartment. It’s just one miserable day after another. So why do I want to keep going? Why don’t I just stop this miserable life?
But I have this strong will. It has not been taken away from me. The idiots are not going to win. They’re not going to defeat me. They make me want to stay alive and see them go straight to prison. I want to see their hands in handcuffs and shackled and crying like the BIG babies and cowards they are. That’s enough reason for me to stick around and never give up! I want them all to pay for what they’ve done to me and thousands, perhaps millions, of others who are innocent victims of their atrocity. They will not win. The will to see all these criminals in prison outweighs everything else.
Their day is coming soon. I know it is. And I can’t wait for that day to happen!!!
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