Tag Archive | alone

Gang Stalking – I dream…

Alone

Alone (Photo credit: ElenahNeshcuet)

facebook like button

facebook like button (Photo credit: Sean MacEntee)

Dreams

I dream of a better place to live.

I dream of sitting in a place and not have someone annoy me.

I dream of not having someone call me names.

I dream of sitting at a table with some friends and really enjoying myself.

I dream of  not having someone hit me with electricity every minute of the day.

I dream of being left alone.

I dream of taking a vacation.

I dream of being  called beautiful.

I dream of taking a walk and not worrying about what’s behind me.

I dream of  wearing stylish, beautiful clothes.

I dream of having someone else in my life.

I dream of not having someone threaten to beat me up.

I dream that maybe there are still nice people out there and I just have to find them.

I dream that someone out there likes me.

I dream that the hell I’m going through will soon end.

I dream that all the perps will get the punishment they deserve.

I dream that the pesticide the perps spray into my apartment goes right back to them.

I dream that all the people who’ve abused me for years will finally get their time in jail.

I dream…that’s all I can do.

What do you dream about?

Flower dream

Flower dream (Photo credit: @Doug88888)

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Gang Stalking – I’m tired of being tired.

Latte Art

Latte Art (Photo credit: metalpinguin)

"I Am Tired" - NARA - 558861

“I Am Tired” – NARA – 558861 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Redesigned logo used from 2011-present.

Redesigned logo used from 2011-present. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sometimes I feel so tired.  I get tired of feeling tired.  I want a day I can just relax, and not have to  worry about the horrible day that’s ahead of me.  I want to go to Starbucks, have a latte and truly enjoy it.  I want to go to a movie, and see a comedy and laugh. I want to take a walk, and not have  to watch my back.  I want to make love to someone without worrying about someone watching me on a camera.  I just want to be.  Will I ever have a day to myself again?  Or is it something that’s never going to happen?  Am I going to spend the rest of my life living in this unwanted hell  not of my making?  I wish I had a magic crystal ball that would tell me of the future that’s ahead of me.  Is it a future I can look forward to?  Or a future that will make me regret I was ever born?

I’m tired of being tired.

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Gang Stalking – It makes me angry I have to live my life alone.

English: Angry

English: Angry (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Alone

Alone (Photo credit: JB London)

Angry Penguin

English: Angry cat

English: Angry cat (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

anger

anger (Photo credit: anyone123)

Angry Talk (Comic Style)

Angry Talk (Comic Style) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sometimes, I get really, really angry that every day I have to wake up to the miserable life I’m living. I know my day will be one miserable hour after another.  I know wherever I go someone will be around trying to abuse me. Someone I never met, and never will, will feel free to mistreat me in any way he/she feels.

It makes me angry that I can’t  have any friends.

It makes me angry that I no longer have a family in my life.

It makes me angry that I can’t get a decent job.  A job where there is no workplace mob.

It makes me angry that I can’t find a place to live where someone will not torture me.

It makes me angry that anything I value someone steals.

It makes me angry that there’s no place I can go where no one will not know me.

It makes me angry that I have no privacy in my home. I’m even watched in the bathroom.

It makes me angry that everywhere I go some perp watches everything I do.

It makes me angry that I can’t have a relationship with a man.

It makes me angry that I can’t enjoy the holidays.

It makes me angry that I can’t travel to get away from the perps.

It makes me angry my computer’s hacked, my phone.

It makes me angry my mail’s read before I get it.

It makes me angry every package I receive someone opens.

It makes me angry I can’t buy clothes that won’t be torn, or stolen .

It makes me angry that my apartment’s broken into every single day.

It makes me angry I have to put up with the government’s harassment, and I haven’t done a damn thing.

It makes me angry that the U.S. government is not what everybody thinks it is.

It makes me angry that the U.S. is not free.

It makes me angry that U.S. is full of liars.

It makes me angry that the U.S. government is so corrupt.

It makes me angry that no one believes what’s happening to me and others.

It makes me angry that I live in a place full of sheep.

It makes me angry that I can’t get help from police, ACLU, FBI, police.

It make me angry that I trust no one.

It makes me angry that I have to live my life alone.

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Gang Stalking – Happy Thanksgiving Day to all of you.

A roast turkey prepared for a traditional U.S....

A roast turkey prepared for a traditional U.S. Thanksgiving meal. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

English: A small plate with a serving of mashe...

Pie for Dad
Pie for Dad (Photo credit: bignoseduglyguy)

"canned" homemade cranberry sauce

Thanksgiving 2010

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone.  I’m not going to write about gang stalking today. It’s a day to sit back and relax, and I don’t want to  write anything that will mess up your day.  Enjoy being with your family, if you’re lucky enough to still have one, and show them your appreciation for sticking by you. Not all of us are so lucky.

For those of you alone, I know how you feel. I’m alone myself, no family, friends. But I’m going to make a little thanksgiving dinner for myself.  Being solo means I can’t really make a turkey.  It would be  wasted. I don’t really like turkey that much anyway.  But I still have  Thanksgiving dinner, though. I just do it cheaply.  Maybe  you’d like to do the same thing. So below is what I do on Thanksgiving and almost every other holiday.

What I do is buy slices of  roasted turkey breast from the deli (Boar‘s Head has few chemicals) and is about the best. Get a can of cranberry sauce,  buy a few potatoes, milk, gravy in a jar, any vegetable you like, pie, nuts, butter, and stuffing in a box. The only thing you have to cook are the potatoes.  Everything else you just have to heat up.  Easy as pie.  You can make mashed potatoes, or any kind of potatoes you like.  That’s the reason for the milk and butter, mashed potatoes.

It’s better than going out to eat. They overcharge you and they probably do the same thing that I do.

So enjoy your Thanksgiving and relax.

And thanks every one of you for reading my blog.

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Gang Stalking – Celebrate the holidays.

English: Halloween pumpkin with a witch hat.

English: Traditional Kitchen Witch Doll or Hea...
English: Traditional Kitchen Witch Doll or Hearth Doll for home protection. From Mal Corvus Witchcraft & Folklore artefact private collection owned by Malcolm Lidbury (aka Pink Pasty) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ii3_OgxiVQ (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Witch

For the past  four years, I haven’t celebrated any holiday.  Before gang stalking, I loved the decorations and getting together with my family to celebrate the holidays.

But as I wrote, it’s been four years since I’ve celebrated  anything, even my birthday.

I’m now completely alone.  I have no family, no friends, no one I can trust.  And the few times I tried to befriend someone, it  didn’t turn out too well.  Most of the times, the person turned into a perp, if he hadn’t been one.  So trusting someone is not something I do anymore.  I rarely talk  with someone, or  say much  of anything  to anyone.

So, really, it’s been a very lonely four years.  Celebrating holidays by myself  just makes me feel loner,  makes me think of my family and the friends I used to have.

I  really miss getting together with my family, and so I stopped celebrating anything.

But lately, I feel the need to celebrate something. Celebrate that I’ve survived four lonely years, and I’m still as sane as I was.

I decided from now, even though I’m alone, that I’m going to celebrate holidays.

Today I went shopping for some Halloween decorations.  I bought a crashed witch.  I’m sure you’ve seen it in the store. It shows a witch that has crashed into a wall.

I put the witch decoration on my front door for all to see.

Now, knowing how  the perps destroy everything I buy,  I’m wondering if tomorrow morning, the witch will still be on the door, and how long it will be before they destroy it.

I’m not going to keep opening my door  to see if the witch is still there.  I have a feeling by the time I wake up tomorrow, it will not be on the door, or if it is, it will probably  be in tatters.

What do you think?  Do you think they will destroy it?  Will be it in tatters?  Still be on the door?  Let me know what  you think will happen to it?

Go out and buy a decoration and celebrate the holiday.  Enjoy yourself. Don’t let them take away your joy, as they did to me.

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Gang Stalking – PostaDay 2011- What do I miss?

"A Patriot Act"

English: South façade of the White House, the ...

Image via Wikipedia

This image was selected as a picture of the we...

Image via Wikipedia - Declaration of Independence.

What I miss most is the U.S.A. I used to know.  The U.S. I know today is the not one I grew up with.

The Old U.S.A. was a country that left me alone.  It did not have gang stalkers follow me around everywhere I go.  It did not spray me with pesticide at night or during the day.  It did not turn my family and friends against me.  I was free to come and go as I please.  It did not torture me 24/7.  I could go to a movie and not be harassed.  It did not hack my computer and act as a dictator.  It did not take my love life away from me.  Right now, I could have a man in my life, but this U.S.A. has made it impossible for me to love someone.  It’s made it possible for me to live the rest of my life alone.  I did not have to worry about being pushed so far that I’d might end up in jail.  It taunts and treats me like dirt, with no dignity.  It is in every part of my life. It did not have a Patriot Act. A new  bill which makes it possible for citizens to be mistreated without trial.  It’s made me a prisoner.  I have no freedom.  I might as well be in prison. Or dead!

I miss the U.S.A. I used to know.

Countdown:  61 blogs to write.

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Gang Stalking – Off Topic – PostaDay 2011 – Six word memoir.

My six word memoir.

Had family. Government intruded. Now alone.

Can you write about your life in six words?

Countdown: 120 blogs.

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