- See Image:Gold doorknob.jpg (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
If I sounded a little paranoid last night, I have reason to be. All the lights in my complex were turned off. All week-long, I’ve had trouble with my water. I’ve had rocks thrown at my door. People knock at my door, and when I open the door, there’s no one there. Wouldn’t you be paranoid?
Anyway, last night, as I wrote was, was dark. I had lights in my apartment, but all the lights outside the apartment were dark. In the dark anyone can do anything. And I wouldn’t put anything beyond the perps.
I awoke today to dribs and drabs of cold water. No hot water again. And the cold water lasted only about 2 hours and then it went off. No hot and cold water again. The perps keep playing their baby games. They think everything they do is just so funny.
The hot and cold came on about an hour ago. I wonder how long it’ll last this time.
I’m truly getting sick and tired of all the b.s. Why can’t these freaks just leave me alone? If they want to be freaks, why don’t they join the circus?
Last night, just as I was about to fall asleep, I heard someone turn the door knob. I quickly got up from my bed and put a bunch of stuff near the door to keep someone from breaking in. I put my chair, books, bottles full of water, anything that would make noise if it fell. I didn’t sleep all night. I couldn’t relax. I was too stressed. My body wouldn’t let me sleep.
Something’s got to give. I can’t keep living this way. It’s hell every single day. If I had someone living with me, I’d have someone to fall back on, but being on my own, there’s no one I can turn to. So far, I’ve managed to stay sane, but we all have our breaking point. I really don’t know how long I can put up with all the b.s. It’s really getting to me.
How much punishment can a body take? I’m just physically and emotionally tired. I’m tired of getting my body zapped, never being left alone, followed everywhere. Not a moment to just think and dream; always being on guard? This kind of tension is not good for any body. I’ve managed to stay healthy in spite of everything done to me. How long will it be before my body begins to rebel?
I keep asking myself: is this life worth living? So far the answer has always been yes, but maybe I’ll reach a point where it’ll be no. Because, really, I want some joy in my life. And there’s no joy in my life.
How can people be so evil?
Contact info: http://neverending1.Wordpress.com
Neverending1's Blog 
Organized Gang Stalking / Cyberstalking, Chennai, India
I am a Targeted Individual for the past 6 years, i use PADLOCKS on the inside of the main doors, there is no way they can break through that.
The stress of being Gang Stalked is tremendous, i do the following Walk / Jog 45 minutes daily, Meditate (Transcendental Meditation) 30 minutes twice daily, breathing exercises, and music……………….all these things relieve stress tremendously…
Your blog is good and has been an inspiration to many, including me…..
Willend , neverending, it willend…….don’t worry….
I also exercise, and I keep to a routine; keeping a routine really helps. And I tried meditating, but I find it hard to do when I’m being electronically targeted, but I will keep trying. I know it will end, but when?
Believe me, here in the U.S., they can break through anything. I think they use lasers to break them apart.
Don’t start thinking like that ever……erase those thoughts from your head. That is the ultimate success for them to have you start thinking like that. That is their goal to eliminate each one of us.. It is always worth living and you will be rewarded from all your persecution being a target…I have recently taken a new thought. NO ONE ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO PLAY And no one told me I was playing. These are serious war crimes.. Now that I know they want to play I have cleared the CHESS board. I am going to load the board when I am ready and we play with me being aware. That changes everything and it is all about strategy treat it like a chess game and one at a time you , we can take them off the board. I have been setting them up for over 10 years and have been saving the evidence for when the time is right. Example ::: I told this Lawyer who I thought might be involved something that was really important to me and only to this day ever told him…Yes he bit and I knew he would so he has been on the list since 2006. I can point the finger at him and know he is 100000% guilty.
I have recently given a cop a file again on purpose that I took photos of before I gave him the file and get this the crown refused the file. But this worked out better he removed items from the file and literally had the same files removed from friends house.. I watched the cops follow me to his house so I made sure he watched me bring the box in, again taking photos of the documents before i took them to his house…. WELL!!!! the cop removed particular files from his package and from the one at my friends that I had already taken pictures of. So the cop hung himself and does not know it yet plus he has helped me confirm 10000 % again who he is involved with. He left other information on other party’s so it makes it easy to identify who is who and who is working with who…
I also set them off track frequently making a big focus on an item that I know will disappear so when it does I laugh because they fell in my trap and didn’t even know it. This really is like a chess game a sick one and they have way more players so our strategy needs to be very very efficient and mind boggling for them.. At least I make them work really hard and spend way so much money .. I figure they have at least 100 or more 24 hours a day on me. I live on 1 1/2 acres and they literally come right on my property . Since March A stranger from Guadalajara questioning me, A stranger from Puerto Vallarta, another guy drives in asking me what I knew of the Illuminati, Some lady in a black car though saying I wasn’t alone and that I needed help… all the weird of the weird and I don’t have to leave my property they come in all sorts and sizes..No one comes on my property with out being photographed them and their car..The traffic and company slows down too when you do some of the things I’ve been doing . You just have to get it out of your house because you know they are coming to look for it but this is how you can start identifying them one at a time… The newbees are the easiest and will lead you to the big fish…That is the ones we want all the big fish.. When I was enrolled with ALRM FORC I had 57 illegal entries in 18 months of their service. The most hits I had in 20 years so is the writing on their wall.? This company can here right inside your home 24 hours a day at first I thought this was great until I found out they are so involved
Anyway you are stronger than they will ever be and stop ever thinking you won’t make it. You are not alone , we are not alone not ever!!! I am considering opening a safe house for us to stay safe and destroy them!!. take care
Oh my-we all feel like that but stop yourself or they win! As for your door if you can’t afford anything else for security then screw it shut at night! Just put a long screw into the frame at an angle so that it will block the door. It works!
I too feel isolated because I can’t go to work or they follow me and I fear they might break into the homes of the patients I care for-Home Healthcare Nurse. So, I am out of money-might lose my home if I can’t quickly use my creative skills (and fast) to make items to sell. I fear I will come home and the last of my once 4 King Charles Spaniels will have been hurt or worse! Already lost three an 2 of them were passed away from un-diagnosed mysterious illnesses. I think they were poisoned!
So, when I feel even for a moment like you do I recite a little song I learned from another TI; “God and his Angels are taking care of me-I’ll be Fine”. I can’t tell you how strong these words are when thought or recited out loud several times when you feel down-tney remove the fear and you can overcome. Don’t ever let the Devil and his perp followers take hold of your brain for even a second. Good always triumphs over evil.
Hold strong and keep your faith,
4spaniels
I was just thinking about how bad my life was at that point. I definitely had no intention of doing any harm to myself. Thanks for your response.
You are loved. You speak for us. We need you. TI’s need each other. I am in intense pain(emotional) today. I want to be happy again too. Let’s stick it out. We will survive, we are still standing.
energy greens is a good formula i will be trying and hope for good results
What are energy greens? I guess I’m going through a bad time because I really things would really improve a little when I moved. That hasn’t come true, it’s worse than ever. I have no intention of doing anything to myself. I’m just letting all the bad stuff out.
Jewel, yes, we are still standing, and that’s good.
Stopogs, it’s a little item I use to hit the gang stalkers back.
iiiaiika, I’m not going to do anything to myself, it’s that I just moved to a new apartment, and it’s worse than my old place. It’s just depressing to know that nothing will ever, ever get better.
Ken 123 – I got your post. Thanks.