I was just thinking about people who deserve an award. So I decided to start an annual award: The Turkey Award. Below are some people who I think deserve a turkey award, but one gets the award for 2011.
10. Jennifer Lopez – Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer, what’s up with you? Your American Music Awards dance was like a strip show. Have you forgotten you now have kids? Jennifer, stop embarrassing your kids.
9. Anthony Weiner – I hope you’ve gotten some help. You’re not sex-texting women with your bulge? Are you?
8. Herman Cain – How many women will it take for you to admit you’re a pervert? And now a new one. A new woman came forward today who said she’s been having an affair with you for 15 years. Is she also lying?
7. Rupert Murdock – You’ve always been so sure of yourself and so self-righteous, it seems now you’re getting payback. You didn’t know anyone in your company was hacking everybody’s phones? I don’t believe it.
6. Strauss-Kahn – To me you’re a creep. I think the black maid is telling the truth. You probably knew no one would believe her, after all, she’s only a maid. And you are such an important person, why would anyone believe anything she said? You got away with rape; you are a lowlife.
5. President Obama – I’ve never been so disappointed in someone I voted for. I thought things would change with you, but it’s the same old, same old. And that Patriot Act you signed into law, how could you?
4. The Senate and House of Rep. – What a totally useless group of people you all are. I remember another group called “the do nothing congress”, but I think you beat them to that title. What did any of you accomplish this year? Nothing! You should all be voted out. You don’t deserve any of our votes.
3. Penn State – You’re supposed to be the cream of the crop. You’re supposed to be intelligent, but it seems to me none of you cared anything about those kids being abused. All any of you cared about is football. And the poor kids have to suffer for the rest of their lives with a legacy that’s been handed to them by all of you so-called “intelligent people”. You should all be ashamed of yourselves for what you let happen to those innocent children.
2. Jerry Sandusky – Men like you belong in jail. You’ve ruined a lot of young boys’ lives with your molestation of them. Penn State hid your crime, and they’re as guilty as you. You have a sickness. I hope you get help and don’t do it again.
1. And the “Turkey Award” goes to those freaks who hound me day and night without let-up. You people are beyond evil. I award you all reserved spots in the devil’s den. May all of you burn and burn and burn.
So all the above are on my turkey list for the year 2011. But the year is not over yet, so who knows, I might have to change my turkey list. From now on, every year, I will have a “Turkey Award”. I’m sure I will have no problem awarding a “Turkey Award”.
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